too-true tales

Woody's secret stash of locker room undies is not the weirdest thing in his family's log cabin, but it's a pretty big tip off that he's not like the others in his Puritan school. Then, deemed "too gay to book anything but children's theatre," Woody splits New York City to discover just how many people can use him to pry open their closet doors. But a risky rendezvous on the other side of the world connects the dots between a lifetime of conditioning and some very specific positioning to prove that love and sex are (thankfully) not the same at all. 

making waves

Schlong Song boldly blends classic stand-up, sprawling stories, and salacious strips, ranging from rocky sex ed on a waterbed to a thriving career as a Bro Whisperer to the legitimate struggles of swimming through sociosexual politics. Both an honest account of hard nights and a celebration of a sometimes hard life, Woody Shticks makes space for audiences all over the spectrum to unpack their own sexual baggage on the long walk to empathy.

Schlong Song was launched at the First Date Festival (Whidbey Island, 2016), sold out two month-long runs at 18th & Union (Seattle, 2017), headlined the Come Inside  Festival  (Portland, 2018) and the International Dublin Gay Theatre Festival   (May 2019), and was featured in the King's Head Theatre's Queer Season (London, 2019).

rave reviews

​"Shticks is endearing, entertaining, and genuinely engages the audiences, creating an energy of improvisation, an energy of magic-making."
Seattle Gay Scene

"Woody Shticks...had the writing skill of Oscar Wilde, the physical ability of Charlie Chaplin, the facial expressions of Zero Mostel, the charm of Hugh Grant and the combined genius of just about every comedian I have ever seen."
Drama In The Hood

​"It’s often easy to forget comedy is a serious business, but not today. I’m clearly in the presence of a serious artist — serious, but not solemn."
Seattle Star